It’s an illusion! It’s alllll an illusion! - A homeless man that may or may not have been on some mind-altering substance yelled at me when I was at a stoplight near downtown Denver.
Turns out, he is kind of right.
Let’s have some fun:
You have probably seen these viral illusions. . .
Did you see a duck or a rabbit first?
Did you see the old lady or the young lady first?
Do you think this dress is gold and white or navy and blue?
We are all looking at the same pictures, but see totally different things
How is this possible?
Our brains unconsciously bend our perception of reality to meet our desires or expectations. And they fill in gaps using our past experiences.
In psychology, a “trapped prior” is a perception of reality that’s colored, or trapped, by past experiences.
“It’s really important to understand we’re not seeing reality, we’re seeing a story that’s being created for us” says neuroscientist Patrick Cavanagh.
Visual illusions show us that our minds tend to make assumptions about the world, and what you think you see is often not the truth.
Your brain likes to stay consistent with what it believes and knows therefore it will show you things that are in line with those beliefs and patterns.
Things are not what they are; they are what we think they are.
Your brain is obsessed with prediction
Your brain is obsessed with a prediction for two reasons. Efficiency and safety.
Not only does the brain rely on predictability to be efficient to save energy, but the fear and stress center of the brain relies on predictability for its sense of safety.
It assumes that as long as its inputs are familiar, we must be safe. Even if in reality what is familiar is unsafe or unhealthy.
This is why developing a new habit or trying to improve our mindset can be so difficult. Change is unfamiliar and can trigger a stress response in our neurology even when it’s an improvement.
At the same time, in the quest to be efficient, the brain is determined to give us what it thinks we want based on what has been rehearsed enough to become predictable.
How to see the illusions in your life
In my article Use this trick to make your life 10x better (my most shared piece so far), I talk about how your focus determines what you are able to see and perceive.
This is slightly different because this is not about focus, it’s about perception. Perception is about how you are interpreting what you are seeing or focusing on.
Interpretation changes everything. The story you are telling about what is happening changes everything.
Get this: I am not saying to be more positive about a situation, that’s not it. The big picture here is illusions show us that what we are seeing one way could actually be something totally different (and better) if we are willing to go off our autopilot thinking and reacting to see something in a new way our brain might not have been open to before.
You could be seeing the duck (aka the way this situation is stressful and hopeless) OR if you look again, all of a sudden you can see the rabbit (aka new possibilities/good that could happen), but the picture did not change at all.
Nothing about the situation could change, but you can experience it so differently based on your interpretation that it seems as if it has.
Illusions show us that it’s only when we open our minds to see things differently, that different things can show up.
Whatever you are stressed about today, turn it into an illusion playing with perception.
Slice of Life Examples
In playing with perception, I discovered that things are what we compare them to.
Motherhood: When I was open to seeing motherhood differently, motherhood completely changed (even though nothing changed at all). It’s easy to fall into the trap of relating with other moms viewing motherhood as hard, exhausting, messy, and limiting. A few years ago I got exposed to a whole new community of mothers that had a perception of motherhood that was beautiful. They relished the slow days, savored the years of having littles, created stunning environments where their family thrived, and overall saw it as an honor.
Stress: When I changed how I viewed stress, stressful situations changed. The three beliefs I adapted are: 1) to view your body’s stress response as helpful, not debilitating – for example, to view stress as energy you can use; 2) to view yourself as able to handle, and even learn and grow from, the stress in your life; and 3) to view stress as something that everyone deals with, and not something that proves how uniquely screwed up you or your life is.
Eternity: Compare anything to eternity, and whatever you are comparing changes. It makes life the ultimate illusion. This life is like 1 spec of sand in all of the sand on the entire earth compared to eternity. The only objective is to keep reminding yourself that not facing any problems in this spec of time is not what this life is about. It’s not about being as happy and comfortable as you can. That’s what your next life is for. Pain is part of it. Trials are part of it. If you look at this life as training or a test, your everyday life and your every interaction will transform into more of a game, like you are living in an alternate reality that you know isn’t real life, it’s the training for your real life. It’s a short amount of time where you will face trials and practice responding to them from a place of thankfulness, trust, and love better and better each time.
Even when nothing changes, perception can make the situation so different, you’ll think it did.
Illusions in Relationships
Let’s use these illusions as a reminder today to have more compassion and less judgment toward people because although we are looking at the same thing, we truly see something completely different.
My 6-year-old could not see the young lady in the picture at all. No matter how hard I tried to point out how to see the young, the old lady was just too predominate for her to see anything else.
She wasn’t wrong, it is a picture of an old lady, but it’s also a picture of a young lady.
So many arguments and disagreements stem from perception. This reminds me to stay open when I see something differently, because we could both be seeing something right, even if it’s different.
PS: For those curious souls out there, I saw the duck, young lady, and gold and white dress. . . what about you?!
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